Home  ✧   Albums  ✧   Part 109: Black Flags and Broomsticks

Part 109: Black Flags and Broomsticks

Narrated by Paddywagon Man

  1. Intro

    This week’s OC is issue seven of Battleship Weekly, and comes from /u/HandaNauka. Nice to get a glimpse into the lives of the mino…

  2. Melon Map

    Everybody’s favourite Melon Map. That’s my guess at least. It’s deleted from the sidebar right now, so I can’t look at it as I wri…

  3. Tile Accurate Map

    Brazil has absorbed the mighty Boers and are now racing towards victory. This has been a truly terrifying takedown, made all the m…

  4. PR Slide

    Brazil unsurprisingly takes first place again in the Power Rankings, and chances are good they won’t be moving.

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    The rout of the mighty Boers is all but complete, with even the island cities of Ondini and Middelburg falling before the march of…

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    Shanghai falls to Brazil in a far-distant conflict. There is nowhere on the cylinder that Pedro’s impact is not felt. Australian,…

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    More Brazilian units up here (surprise!), but I’d be surprised if this outdated and unsupported army did any better than Crowfoot’…

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    Here we have Hawaii, unified for the first time in centuries under the heel of the Kangaroo Jackboot. As you probably noticed righ…

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    “Yes, yes I do hate the Inuit! UNCLE!” cries Ingolfur Arneson, his arm twisted nearly out of its socket by a brawny Brazilian para…

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    War were declared! In this corner, weighing in at ten settlers, five great people and sixty-odd Inuit supersoldiers, it’s Sweden!…

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    Peace is made, and Kruger surrenders some of his few remaining arctic cities to pacify the Samba Titan. The massive Boer fleet lea…

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    Crowfoot watches sadly from a troop carrier as Kekkonen gloats from his submarine. “Hey Paul! How’s that Iberia working out for yo…

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    Shanghai goes back to Korea, though it looks like there’s going to be a lot of flipping in this region. I’m not seeing any XCOMs t…

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    Flip flop, Shanghai drops, when will the Open Borders stop? This whole region must be a logistical nightmare. No fewer than 8 civs…

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    The Inuit legions have expanded into the Glorious Dragon Empire. Vietnam has done a good job of getting these cities back up to a…

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    The cries to DELETE BRAZIL grow louder in Boer Wulungarra. I don’t think Pedro’s untrustworthy nature is coming as a surprise to a…

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    A shot of Vietnam’s core. You know me, I’m a huge Vietnam supporter, but this is a pretty disappointing display. There are decent…

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    Or join the Korea hate train! That works too! This is a big development, Sibir and Vietnam have just joined forces again to attack…

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    This is outrageous! Tabriz has fallen to the Emperador, and Shanghai has obviously flipped some more but now looks quite firmly Br…

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    This shot demonstrates the massive gap between #2 Inuit and #3 Sibir. Wall-to-wall Inuit troops fill Sibir’s easternmost holdings.…

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    Here we see the Boer Antarctic territory - or, as the kids like to call it, the entirety of the Boer Empire. Not only did they cho…

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    Vacationing in recently-subjugated Europe, Pedro is shocked to find a lingonberry in his caipirinha. He orders for thousands of hi…

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    Right in the core of Vietnam, Pedro is still making all the gains. Chongqing falls, and it doesn’t look like Korea will be taking…

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    Korea stands bravely in the face of Brazilian imperialism, retaking Tabriz and nuking Shanghai off the map. Vietnam has a settler…

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    Sitting Bull be with me. There are no borders, there is no front line - just a massive mess of people fighting and a confusingly-s…

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    “Oymyakhaaaaaaaaan!” comes the anguished cry from Karakorum. It seems Genghis is going to lose cities before he gains any, as Oym…

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    Don’t do it Sejong. You’re fighting too many wars already. This denouncement gives me hope for Parkes. He could take Japan overni…

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    Did somebody say carrier-centric? Jeez, Ingolfur. The Buccaneers have more planes than Iceland does in this slide - which is to sa…

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    Sejong and Pedro make peace, with Pedro having captured one city and forced another’s destruction. Now he’s just fully in the way,…

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    Despite the peacekeepers, Sibir manages to take Amga and Suntar! Amga is firmly in his hands, Suntar might flip, and Yarmanka has…

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    THE END TIMES ARE UPON US. First, Conquest rode forth on a bright orange hovertank. Then War dropped from the sky in a line-green…

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    Ciudad Juarez has been nuked, and Brazilian robots advance on its shattered walls. And while it isn’t in-frame, the circle of near…

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    A reminder of the Inuit and Brazilian peacekeepers that must now be fighting for their lives all over the Cylinder, we see the Inu…

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    Nobody has any clue what’s going on in Asia anymore, except that it involves a lot of people killing each other in one war while t…

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    Brazilian Raj, now almost entirely annexed, hosts some Siberian and Australian partygoers. In the middle of the subcontinent stand…

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    The nations of the Cylinder decide it’s been too long since the last Orange Containment Project and start another one. It’s a quic…

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    In Islamic belief, the conquest of Constantinople would be one of the signs of the impending Day of Judgement. Islam may have falt…

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    A sad day gets sadder as Crowfoot declared war on the crippled Boers. There will be no Order of the Rump in this pitiless world.…

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    Houston has indeed been nuked, and Henry’s still got nukes to spare. Gonzales is at half health, but its population has not droppe…

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    Damn it, this entire warzone makes no sense. Korea has somehow take Tabriz back from Vietnam, and it is now entirely surrounded by…

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    Kuchum snatches Oymyakon like the jerk he is (it started the part as a Mongolian city) and Yarmanka as Elgyay teeters on the brink…

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    Don’t do it Crowfoot. You have so few units left, don’t squander them in suicide attacks. Oh, what was I expecting. AI gonna AI.…

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    This is more or less the same shot we saw earlier, but with the lovely fallout clouds visible. And Morgan has at least 7 more nuke…

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    Puebla takes a nuke as well, instantly carbonizing a large column of Inuit soldiers as Gonzales falls to Brazil. Morgan is sweepin…

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    A solid, unbroken wall of Australians and Inuit cut Vietnam off from Korea. Bongo bongo bongo… Can they stop the Viet Cong, thoug…

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    Bring Your Flag to War Day in Korea. Have they regressed to using semaphore? Are they supposed to be bannermen? Or did Sejong just…

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    Austin flies the Jolly Roger as a skull-plated iron giant storms the beaches. What a day it’s been! With Austin having only just b…

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    Winnipeg has just been nuked, and it seems like Kitchener was nuked last turn. Henry has 10 more nukes in the slide, although if I…

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    Tabriz is about to fall, but whether it falls to Sibir or Mongolia is anybody’s guess. Turfan and Otrar have taken some serious bo…

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    Ciudad Juarez still hasn’t fallen or even flipped, which strikes me as odd considering the breakneck speed of the conquest of Afri…

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    Dallas has fallen as well, and Brazil now holds most of the southern coastal cities. El Paso has been bombed to yellow and Sisseto…

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    Tabriz is Mongolian at the moment, but it’s bound to fall back to Sejong, and the bloody peacekeepers are getting in the way of ev…

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    Suddenly (and encouragingly!) we see some of the Siberian unit carpet make its way to Korea. Tommot looks like the next city to be…

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    Two new cities here, Juiz de Fora and Sao Jose dos Campos. Native Arabian culture is devoured one piece at a time by the ever-expa…

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    Oh my. So far as I can tell, Brazil and the Boers do not have Open Borders, meaning the Boer fleet we saw earlier is cut off from…

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    Oh… oh dear. That Blackfoot fleet is most likely on its way to Boer Antarctica, but there’s a chance it might suicidally attack Au…

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    But has our day just brightened? Two armies have embarked. Who’s next to join the fighting? Crowfoot or Henry Parkes? Oh, you open…

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    Now upside, inside out, you’re doing the Bossa Nova Paul’s Vocaloid, no doubt, is doing the Bossa Nova The Inuit looked great, but…

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    ahem Tabriz was Mongolian last we saw it, now it’s back in Korean hands but with a hungry Siberian biotrooper ready to snatch it u…

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    Population chart, with Brazil obviously leading. You know just how bloody these last wars have been when you realize that despite…

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    This is devastating. Brazil has nearly double the Inuit’s production. But Sibir has a very impressive count as well, and Vietnam i…

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    Brazil are very cultured people, beating next-place Inuit by more than 3-1. You know, something just occurred to me that I’m not s…

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    Their tourism lead over the Inuit is smaller, but still enough for them to rig the Civ Rap Battle Royale so the Inuit would lose.…

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    Australian Catholicism is still the largest religion, mostly thanks to the efforts of the late Tiridates. Blackfoot Arianism, with…

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    Religion map. Therevada has taken hold in South Asia and is spreading through Oceania, Lutheranism is the majority religion in New…